Le coeur

If you were here (or I were there), I would tell you I love you. This profound wave of the unconditional that I can neither explain nor support. I love the fact of your existence and that love becomes a joyful tracing of movement. The way you lean a skateboard back and forth down the sidewalk. I love your mismatched clothes and the jerking movements of your imperfect limbs. I love your tired smile and your tired jokes and your tired isolation. I love you because you do not know I love you. And if I told you, instead of believing that perhaps I leave a trail of barely perceptible affection like the scent of twilight, you wouldn’t accept it. Or you would and I would forget how to offer. The way words forget what it means to love. The unknown with a whole heart.

6 thoughts on “Le coeur

  1. Beautiful, “a trail of barely perceptible affection like the scent of twilight” that is just gorgeous.

    1. mariana, I wasn’t really talking about romantic love. I get these strange waves of love for people I pass in the street. It isn’t that I want to talk to them or get to know them or even think of them in a more than superficial way. Nonetheless, I feel a profound joy in the way they move over the earth. They may be truly horrible people once you get to know them, but more likely than not, they are just trying to get from one day to the next with whatever they have. I fall in love with postures and facial expressions and strides, and then I move on. And I wonder how people would react if they knew what I was thinking as I passed them, but I suspect many wouldn’t really understand and they might feel uncomfortable. The English language doesn’t allow for much nuance when it come to love. We don’t have any single words that instantly differentiate love for a spouse from love for a parent. Some days that makes me sad.

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